How to Keep the Sparks Alive in a Long Term Relationship

For most men, the conquest for the woman's heart ends at the wedding altar. The beginning of marriage spells the end of romance. After a while, the daily routine becomes boring and predictable. Complacency is what kills romance in a long-term relationship.

Never allow yourselves to take each other for granted, and always make that extra effort to be romantic and sweet. You don't have to get stuck in a romantic rut.

Here are five kinds of rituals to add sparks of romance into your relationship: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Do it on a daily basis. Sustaining a long-term relationship ought to be a daily conquest.

Quality Time
Be there for her. Your presence is more important than your presents. Ask her how's her day. When she tells you her problem, don't be in a hurry to tell her the solution. What she wants is not your solution, but your listening ear.

Set aside time for romance and intimacy. Schedule a regular date. Recreate the first date. Plan other fun, exciting or unusual things to do together - watch the sunset, bring a blanket for a picnic or rent a bicycle built for two.

Share your daily activities. Eat together. Share your jokes. Learn something new together, e.g. to reach a fitness goal, to take up dancing lessons, to volunteer in community works, to take up part-time studies together.

Words of Affirmation
Appreciate your wife and compliment her often. Notice the little changes like a new hairdo, a new dress or a new dish.

Resolve conflicts quickly. It's ok to disagree. When you argue, don't bring up past issues. Never end the day with anger.

Thank her for something everyday. Every evening before going to sleep, tell her what you appreciate about her.

Gifts
You don't need to give her big expensive gifts to make her happy, just regular little ones will do. Know what she likes or dislikes. Surprise her with little love notes (in her pillow, briefcase or book), a card, an email, her favourite musical CD, or her favourite food or snack. Bring home a special treat like durians. Surprise her with flowers.

Diana revealed the most romantic gift he received for her birthday. "He wrote a love song and played his guitar and sang it for me. He also recorded it to a CD for me. It was so beautiful."

Physical Touch Touch her often. Hug, cuddle, snuggle, touch, stroke. Give warm hugs; it's good for health. Kiss regularly. Kiss is the food of love. Set the mood for the night with soft music, scented candles, a warm bath, clean, soft sheets and wear something sexy. Take bath together. Give massages.

Sharon is pleased with her husband's daily ritual. "He kisses me before he leaves to go to work even though I am sleeping and don't know that he kisses me but he says it is just in case he doesn't come home... God forbid something bad happens to him." She said.

Romance is like a flower. Treat it properly, nourish it and attend to it everyday. If you don't it will wither away.

~Sam Choo
The WOW Coach
sam@wow-her.com.sg