Speed Dating

For the busy and shy men, speed dating is the latest and greatest way to meet women. Where else can you get to meet so many single women in one night for the price of one date? And no more embarrassing pick-up lines! It's fun.

"If you are talking with someone you don't like, you know that you only have eight minutes. The bell is an easy out," says a 25-year-old female administrative assistant.

The common complaint about speed dating is this: "How much can you know about a person in eight minutes?" The reality is that you don't, but that's not the purpose of speed dating either. You are there for two main purposes: First, to make an impression to get them interested. Second, to select a potential life partner.

"I am not good at one-liners; I am not smooth, so the bar scene doesn't work for me," says 30-year-old Lee, a defense contractor. "Girls put down their guard in a way that they never would in a bar or club."

You have only one chance to make an impression. The first impression is based on how you look, followed by what you say. Check for any turnoff. Keep your hair kempt, check your body odor and bad breath. Nothing turns a woman off as quickly as bad breath.

Here's some tips to increase your chance of getting a match. Don't hog the conversation. Make her laugh. The more she laughs, the more she will like you. Wear a smile - a smile goes a mile. Laugh readily, be positive and be generous with your compliments. Maintain good eye contact. Be honest about yourself. Take notes because you won't remember everyone you have talked to. Relax and have a good time.

Speed dating is like a market place. The girls are looking for the guy who gives them the best value and offer. Your strategy is to stand out from the rest of the guys. Don't give boring answers to standard questions like: "What do you do?" Tell her something unusual about yourself such as an unusual talent or an interesting hobby. Pique her curiosity enough to ask for a date. Perform some magic before her very eyes and then you promise to show her the secrets if she selects you for a date.

How do you pick up the right girls? Given a merely eight short minutes, you have about five questions to ask her. Don't ask her what she has, such as where she lives, her career, her family, and whether she has the five Cs. If you base a marriage on what she has, what will happen to your marriage when these tangible things are lost?

Mary recalls. "The last time I was asked that question - 'what do you do?' - I responded, 'you mean in bed?'"

Do not fire her with one question after another like a selection interview or asking her as if you are Cheryl Fox in the 'Brainiest Kid' game show. Your purpose in questioning her is not to know as much about her as possible.

Your questions should reveal her core character traits and her mission in life. These are intangible that seldom change in her lifetime. Ask her what inspires her life. Ask her what she likes or dislikes about herself. Ask her what is she looking for in a life partner. Ask her how does she handle stress. Given a choice, what would she be doing as a career.

Matt, 28, said: "I usually go out on about one date per month. After doing this once I had four matches and have dates lined up for the next few weeks. There is a good atmosphere; it's safe and it's really good fun, just like being at a party with lots of single women."

Don't worry if speed dating is a new game to you. For the shy and nerdy, it is a great way to pick up some social skills. After a few sessions, you will feel comfortable talking to strangers, you will be able to size up the situation quickly, and you will be good at reading body language.

~Sam Choo
The WOW Coach
sam@wow-her.com.sg