Yoda’s Thoughts about Dating Reality Shows
This article is featured in SNAG magazine Issue 2

It seems that in the past couple of years or so, the trend in the media is to replicate real life as TV reality shows. You had Survivor kicking things off and then a whole string of off shoots like the Amazing Race etc.

Not that I have participated in any of them before, the reason I am even mentioning this is that there is a lesson to be gleaned from them.

You should realize that it should not be called a reality show. That is already a misnomer. If it is truly realistic, you will not have any cameras on those guys / girls huffing and puffing towards their next destination. The possibility of them losing their lives should be high if it is to be realistic at all.

Well some may argue that there is only one cameraman and no crew to go to the participants rescue f needed…my retort is that if a single cameraman can produce videos of that quality, then pray tell me the model of the camera so that I can take Hollywood standard videos!

Reality bites….

If it is truly reality, then why do we not see real accidents? It’s all choreographed so nicely if you think about it. If you were a participant, you would not even fear one iota, for if you were to get into serious trouble, guess what, someone will be there to prevent your sorry ass from getting into the frying pan. They are not going to let you be in a position where you can sue them, or dirty their camera lens when your head splatters like a juicy watermelon after you jump off some cliff.

Further, these reality shows allow you to quit. I mean what gives? In the real fights of life, YOU DO NOT GET TO QUIT! They also allow you to get kicked out ; man , don’t you just wish you can kick your spouse out of your team when things are not hot and saucy?

They have dating reality programmes?

Yes, they even have reality programmes based on dating! Let me state something before I delve further into this. I do not have anything personal against these contestants. I have not met them face to face before, much less know them…ok ok, I do know one, Rachel Lee – the one with the tits and no brains? Well, I heard that instead of a right brain and left brain, she has a left tit and a right tit!

This is where you guys need to listen to Yoda . Which twisted person (since this website caters to guys) will subject her to NATIONAL scrutiny by being the main attraction in a show like “Eye for a Guy”? Me, Yoda, me tell you which girl will – the classic attention -seeking whore. To be avoided at all costs…

She resembles a village bicycle…

Besides a village bicycle, she also resembles a football, being hounded after by 11(?) guys. I understand that the rationale behind the show is to increase viewer-ship, but I hope that WOWers like you reading this article will be astute enough to realize that real life dating is both similar and dissimilar.

There are bitches out there that relish the attention of so many guys all at once trying to impress her. There are also dickheads out there who can be bothered to spend the time and effort to impress the sorry lass, and then beat their heads in when they fail to.

Come on men…

Come on men, the only place where you cannot compete for is girls. They have already made up their minds within the first 5 seconds of meeting whether you are friend or boy friend material. No doubt this is a very general statement which does not take into consideration specific anomalies, but this is the general rule.

You will hear me mention generalizations that may be myths or scientifically proven theories. I will say here that they are representative only of the population in general and not specifically. It applies across the board and not to Ah Seng directly.

Do you think you will be the happiest man on earth when you manage to snare her from the pack? I venture to say not. In fact, you may even ask what the hell got into you to do that. The truth is that if you had to snare her from the pack, you had to fight that hard to keep that pack away – once again the classic attention –seeking syndrome.

But maybe she did not know how to reject them, I hear you say. My retort to that statement of stupidity is that women are not that dumb. They will know how to get their message across, either in words or deeds. She just relishes the attention. And that is the very thing that will give you trouble. Picture yourself out of town without her, and you get the idea.

Where reality and reality TV diverges is that the choice we have at times is not so good as compared to those offered to the girl on TV (ha-ha). Well, we also do not have to pretend that there isn’t a camera, when there is!

Being liked for who you are…not WHAT!

Guys, you want her to like you for who you really are. You don’t want her to like you because you are Mr. Big-Shot Banker, or Mr. Director, etc. Why is that so? I am not saying not to be proud of your job, but if she likes you because of your job, then she is really in love with your job and not you. She will be gone faster than you can say “interest rates will skyrocket” when you lose your job.

The same rule also applies to things like her liking you for what you wear, what you drive, what is your family background, your salary etc. All these things can change, and if they do, there is always a likelihood she will leave. Make sure she likes you even without all these things…likes you for the real you, the ‘you’ who cannot ever change. These things do have their place, but they cannot be out of their place.

For you girls out there who have the classic attention -seeking syndrome and are perpetually on the lookout for a bigger fish please stop all this bull shit. You are essentially training yourself to become immune to relationships. How so? By treating every guy that comes your way as another statistic, one day your heart will be so callused to the point that when your real true love comes, you will not be able to react to him.

I hope to cover more of the topics herein in greater depth in upcoming articles. Until then, be the MAN!

~Yoda
Helping you to unravel the mysteries of love