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Mastering
Dating with Yoda - Progressive Dating (Part 2)
The Dating Curve
It is helpful to think of dating in the following manner.
If we each have 200 credits in every relationship, and the
relationship has a lifespan of, say, 5 years, then to smooth
out this relationship, we ideally would like to use up these
200 credits like so:
200 / 5years x 12months = 3.33
units
In dating language, this means that you do 3.33 units worth
of activities. This could range from gifts, being nice to
"I love you.". The key here is to curtail to a limit of
3.33, whatever you do.
The problem I hear all the time is that guys do too much
at the start of the relationship, then when they get the
girl, suddenly they forget to be nice and romantic, to buy
gifts, and express their care and concern!
We have turned this thing upside-down and taken girls
for GRANTED…
We have so to speak put the cart before the horse. Mr. Wise
Guy, do you expect the cart to actually start pulling the
horse? Gee whiz! If you apply yourself as intelligently
to the immutable rules of dating, you'd be happier for it.
It's all about perceptions…
 By
the way, I derived this concept of smoothing resources from
Franco Modigliani's Life Cycle Hypothesis of consumption
(haha, I am not THAT smart).
Ok, so what does this linear graph show?
The x-axis is the time you guys have in this relationship.
The y-axis is your investment of 200 credits. The red line
is the optimum path of investment as it is the most constant
and obeys our 3.33 rule.
The blue line is a typical investment pattern of the uninformed
male. The black line shows a very rapid pattern of investment
where he ploughs as much as he can in the infancy of the
relationship. Then his investment line flattens as he has
used up his credit.
Question, which of their girlfriends will be more impressed?
It is Mr. Red's woman. Simply because his investment pattern
is so constant (say, always y=x+1), his woman has the perception
that he is doing a whole lot more when he is not. In fact,
he is just doing 3.33 times more a week, that's all! Not
at all onerous.
But the poor sod that Mr. Blue is, he is in deep shit. He
has hit his peak at 0.5 weeks in! His activity factor is
15/0.5 = 30, which is waaay too high.
In casinos, when you have no money left, its time to leave!
The other thing with such an investment is that because
of the anchoring and adjustment heuristic, the girl will
use his previous effort and then measure the guy to it.
You cannot buy your way to a girl's heart. Such a mind set
is totally disgusting. Money has its place and it must be
firmly in its place. It is not the be-all and end-all of
life. Girls DESERVE more respect than that.
So remember, keep things progressing smoothly and always
remember that the girl whom you have is a gift from God.
Treat her as such and do not ever take her for granted…
it's too easy to do just that.
Back to Part 1
~Yoda
Helping you to unravel the mysteries of love
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