Cyberdating
This article is featured in SNAG magazine

NECESSITY
In this modern day and age, cyber-dating has emerged as the proverbial knight in shining armor for those who were destined to remain in the file and ranks of Bachelors and Spinsters.

No, that is not the name of some new hit reality TV series or Taiwanese drama serial. That is the new identity that more and more busy executives have to adopt. Or had to adopt until the advent of cyber-dating.

RISKS
Yes, there is always an element of risk in cyber dating, like the person suddenly gaining 100 pounds or turning from dreamboat to shipwreck overnight. I realize that with powerful computer software like Adobe etc, you can even “enlarge” your assets and have it look natural.

We need to be wise enough to not throw away the baby with the bath water so to speak. Cyber dating can be super fun, immensely rewarding and be your ticket out of single hood, if you know how to do it. Without further ado, lets get into it.

PICKING YOUR VICTIM
First off, when cyber dating there are a plethora of choices from which to select your hapless and unsuspecting victim, I mean prospect. These include sites like www.myspace.com, www.friendster.com and the slew of dating websites that dot the Internet. Just go to Yahoo! and type ‘dating sites’. It should do the trick.

If you do not like locals, there are parameters that you can set in the browse features of these sites to throw up singles from other countries. Neat!

My personal favorite is Friendster simply because it is free of charge and easy to use. I am a very busy person, so I do not have the time or patience to fill up a long list of personal particulars just to be registered.  

VITAL STATS
What I love about Friendster, and you better get this into your head, is that it allows one to check the other party’s vital stats out in a non-intrusive way. If you were thinking 36-24-36, then I am sorry to disappoint.

By vital stats, I mean what your prospect is like personality wise, where they studied and what they studied, whether they are SINGLE or not. If they are not single, don’t bother. If you had the skill to prise someone away from a relationship, you would not be reading this article.

Even if you had the skill, like me, you would not necessarily want to stick with that person. This is where the law of the vicious circle comes into play. If he / she will leave their relationship for you, chances are high that they will leave you for something else. And please, don’t think you are unique, even though your mom thinks so – you are not!

From how and what the person writes about themselves in the personal bio section will speak volumes about what they are like, this is sometimes true even if they do not write anything about themselves.

If they write stuff like: “I am not interested in guys who wants to know me,” trust me, the mad woman means it. If he writes: “I am gay”, he means it too. Don’t try to change their mindset otherwise. I have found out that it is a waste of resources.

Stuff that should cause the red flag on your ass to go up include and are not limited to: I am looking for movie star good looks, I want to be a tai-tai / gigolo, I want to be a model etc. For reasons too lengthy to be in this article, they are simply indicative of traits that signal TROUBLE!

TESTIMONIALS
If you make your way to the testimonial part, you will notice a lot of things being said. This is where you have to categorize whatever is being posted there. You want to learn what to ignore and what to focus on.

First, the trash; these are things like mass testimonials of mnemonics and pictures made using letters and symbols. They are nice to look at and an utter waste of your time.

Also belonging in your trash bin are testimonials from distant friends and perverts complimenting that said person is gorgeous etc. You can judge for yourself on that right? I hope!

Their pictures will also speak a thousand words. If they resemble something out of a porno magazine, scream and run!

What you want to focus on are the testimonials that subject’s close friends have written. A rule of thumb is that if 10 friends say the same thing, you cannot go very much wrong if you use their assessment as a basis of your impression of the person.

DON’T BURN THE MIDNIGHT OIL
Hey, I hope you are not thinking of staying up late to go sift through all this stuff I highlighted. All this preliminary scanning should be done very quickly. After all, you are not getting married here; you are just looking for a FRIEND. “Friends” first, then you move on.

The inverted commas are there for a good reason. It is meant to distinguish the normal friend from the transitory friend.

WHAT NEXT?
If you see someone you take a fancy to and that are within the guidelines of what was written above, what do you do? See that send a smiley button? Click on it and send her a smiley.

This is a brilliant way to get things going in the world of cyber dating. Its far easier to select an emoticon than to hammer out a stupid self description that has a high chance of ending in the trash bin.

It is also better than having a mass “I want to know you” type message. Emoticons are templates, so no one can accuse you for sending mass emoticons.

This is how it works. If the other party replies, then there must be at least some kind of interest. If there isn’t then so what? You are no worse off. Rejection is nothing. It is all numbers game, the more smileys you send out, the higher the chance of someone actually replying to it.

Because rejection is not in person, it relieves both parties of any awkward feelings that would otherwise arise in a face-to-face situation. The other party is spared the agony of telling you to buzz off and your ego is protected too.

YOUR PERSONAL PAGE
To increase your hit rate and also the likelihood of someone proactively sending you a smiley, you gotta get to work on that personal profile page.

Always begin by asking, what will I find interesting enough to make me want to read my own profile.

It could be a unique hobby, unique experience that you can share, or maybe it could be those wild photographs you took with Paris Hilton. Anyhow, you need to make your profile page different from the rest of those that are circulating out there.

So there you have it, cyber-dating 101, but remember folks, this is but a beginning. To learn how to wow him / her and bag them, keep on reading this site!

~Yoda
Helping you to unravel the mysteries of love