I met a schoolmaster today, whom I have much respect for. At 35, he is still single. He lived and worked in Canada for nine years, and has a degree in Psychology. The man is pleasant looking and financially stable. But he’s not been able to find a partner.

We have a conversation about soul mates and ideal partners. He said he’s not comfortable approaching beautiful women because he feels they only go with ultrarich guys or the gorgeously good-looking. “But that’s not true…” I say. “Beautiful women go with guys with whom they feel secure. And whom they feel will treat them right and be loyal to them. Wealth and good looks are a definite plus, but what’s important is your compatibility and your heart.” He looks skeptical. I press on, “Also, the women you find attractive, may not appeal to other men. She’s simply not their type. Yes, there are women who appeal to a broad range of men. But rest assured, if your heart skips a beat when you first see her, chances are, she’ll find you attractive too. That’s because you have natural chemistry.”

“What do you mean by natural chemistry?” he asks.

“The genetic code of our body decides our looks, doesn’t it? Your looks are a combination of your father’s and your mother’s. If they married someone else, you would look different. A major reason they chose to be together is because their genes are compatible. They could tell from just one look at each other. That’s natural chemistry.”

He raises an eyebrow, “That’s new to me. Is this proven?”

“Have you heard of inbreeding? (He nods.) That’s when close relatives or even siblings mate and produce offspring, right? Well, science proves that inbreeding produces children with high probability of retardation and other disabilities. Therefore it’s the body’s natural instinct to desire a partner with genes different from one’s own, so the offspring will have a diverse gene pool. That strengthens the immune system and increases the child’s chance of survival.”

He tilts his head and his eyes widen. “So how do I know if a woman has compatible genes with me?”

“It’s all in the looks. Chinese Mian Xiang (Face Reading) has known this for centuries. The best couples look opposite to each other. If a man has a round face, his ideal wife has sharper features like a pointy chin and high cheekbones. Big eyes go with small eyes, like how a round nose goes with a narrower strong-bridged one. Think back about the women you’ve dated in the past… and now tell me, which ones were you most attracted to? What’s the common feature among them? I want to know if you know your type.”

“Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.”

“So you know your type?” I give an inquisitive look.

“Yup, I like women with an oval face, bigger eyes, pointy nose, and a small mouth.”

“Ah… well those are compatible with your features – oblong face, smaller eyes, a round nose, and a normal mouth. I’m happy you know your type. So tell me… what’s stopping you from being with them?”

He rubs his chin. “Well… they’re hard to find.”

“I understand. That’s why the moment you’ve found her, it’s important to be fast in approaching her. Fate gives you the opportunity to meet; you must make full use of it. There’s no time for beating around the bush and being a shy boy. This is a time for action. Remember… he who hesitates, masturbates.” He laughs, and gives me a pat on the back.

Perhaps a major reason we fail to find ideal partners is because we ignore our natural instincts to approach those whom we find the most attractive. We let our self-doubt get in the way, and we tell ourselves, “He or she will never fall for me. I’m not worthy. There’s no point trying.” But the truth is, you stand a damn good chance. Nature is a potent force; it shall not be denied. So if you feel a natural attraction for someone, pick up your guts and be brave. Chances are, the one you’re attracted to, also has an attraction to you. The odds are in your favor. Nature is on your side.

~ Lance Ong
Lance Ong is a certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Master Practitioner of Hypnotherapy and Timeline Therapy. He does life coaching to help clients gain clarity of purpose, while removing mental blocks to success. Learn Lance’s philosophy for better living at his Internet Blog Site – “Wisdom to Create a Beautiful World” – www.Lancism.com. If you have any questions, you can e-mail Lance at: truth@lancism.com.