Ways to Fail for Declaration

Let's face it! Declaring your feelings to the lady of your dreams is more stressful than going for a job interview.

If you fail during a job interview, the only drawback is that you don't get the job! The interviewer is not going to remember how badly you fared on that day; nor will you ever see him for the rest of your life.

Declaring to a girl is different. If you don't do it well, not only will you not get the girl, you may also find your name mentioned in the hottest gossip "How that C.M.I. (Cannot Make It) guy declared to me" in your workplace.

Murphy's Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Successful declaration techniques do not apply to every woman. But failed declaration techniques are certainly universal! Hence, it is imperative to learn all the wrong ways, before you formulate for yourself the right one!

Failed Strategy #1: Timing
Wen and Qing have known each other for a few months. However, Qing will be going off for an overseas attachment in England for 1 year.

Wen thought that it will be best to confirm the relationship before Qing leaves. So 2 weeks before her departure, Wen declared to Qing.

Needless to say, he failed.

Moral of the story:
Declaring your feelings to someone who will be away overseas for a very long period of time is a bad idea. It is something like making an advance order of 1 year for a Peking duck in Beijing. Throughout this entire year, all you can do is to think of the duck, perhaps see a few pictures of it, but you can't eat it!!! 1 year later, even if the duck has not changed, it might have flown away…

Failed Strategy #2: Reason
Sebastian and Sylvia are both university students studying in the same course. Both of them are in the same tutorial group and practically see each other almost every day. As the days go by, they became very good friends.

One day, Sebastian decided to express his love for Sylvia. He sent her a sms saying "Sylvia, I like you."

Sylvia was extremely delighted when she saw Sebastian's declaration sms, because she too, has developed a liking for him. Sylvia smsed back Sebastian the question which most ladies would ask when a guy declared.

"Why do you like me?"

"I like you because I am lonely", came the reply.

And Sebastian continued to be a lonely man.

Moral of the story:
Loneliness is certainly not an acceptable excuse! Instead of saying you are lonely, perhaps you can come up with more innovative ideas, such as "I like the side view of your face when you turn your head 38.5 degrees to the left." Sounds more interesting yah?

Failed Strategy #3:
Attitude Sanjeev and Ritha were classmates. Ritha is the prettiest Indian girl in class and Sanjeev developed a liking for her. One day while going to the canteen, Sanjeev suddenly held Ritha's hands.

Ritha pushed his hand away and Sanjeev tried again the second time. Ritha did the same thing and dashed away from him.

Sanjeev cannot see the reason why a dashing man like him will be rejected by Ritha. Being a hot blooded young man, he lost his temper and cursed a few swear words. Later, he started spreading rumours about Ritha.

Needless to say, after seeing Sanjeev's poor attitude, Ritha would not even want to be his friend.

Moral of the story:
Have the right attitude! If a girl rejects you, just accept it graciously. Do not spread any bad rumours about her!

Failed Strategy #4: Place
Susan's dad passed away a few days ago and the family was busy preparing for the funeral. Being emotionally attached to her dad, Susan was heartbroken entirely and broke into tears on many occasions during the memorial service.

David has been secretly in love with Susan for a very long time but has not found the courage to tell her.

One day during the wake, where the trumpets and cymbals were being played loudly, Susan was weeping badly as usual. David walked up to her and said.

David: Susan, I love you. Let me take care of you.

Susan:???

Moral of the story:
Do not express your condolences during Chinese New Year and do not say "I love you" during a funeral!

The ways to fail during declaration can be summarized into - TRAP

T = Time
R = Reason
A = Attitude
P = Place

Do not let the above "trap" you in a vicious cycle of failed declarations!

~Kong Jing Wen
The writer is the author of "Love Clinic - How to lose your bachelor's degree", an exciting new book that is packed with innovative dating & relationship strategies designed to help singles and couples succeed at any stage of the relationship cycle. For more information, please visit www.love-clinic.com.