Can Dating Skills Be Taught?

Recent studies have pointed to a gradual drop in marriage rates as shown by an increase in the mean age of marriage. As the society we live in becomes more competitive, an increasing number of both men and women are putting off marriage and embracing a "career first" mindset. I believe that part of the reason for this phenomenon may well boil down to inadequate experience and skills in dating.

Nowadays, there is a plenitude of free seminars advertised in the media and I've been to a couple of them. The most popular ones are undoubtedly those that purport to teach people how to make more money and create more wealth. Who doesn't want to get rich? Motivational seminars are also quite popular because many of us are looking for that extra dose of inspiration for that added boost to bring us a step closer to accomplishing our goals. For students, there is a whole range of courses on study skills to choose from. But unfortunately, courses on dating skills are a rare commodity.

Some people may argue that dating skills are spontaneous and cannot be taught. But if you think about it, these skills are just like any other skills such as driving, swimming and public speaking. You need to have some kind of fundamentals before you can further hone your skills to perfection.

Let's take a look at driving. Regardless of whether you're naturally gifted in driving, you'd still have to attend a driving course either in a school or by a private instructor before you're truly able to drive well. How about swimming? Even top swimmers like world champion Ian Thorpe and local swim queen Joscelin Yeo have coaches to guide them even though they're already blessed with exceptional talent. In the arena of public speaking, there's a famous quote which says "Great speakers aren't born. They're made." I absolutely agree. To develop one's confidence in speaking, there is no better way than to practise and practise, and along the way get feedback and tips from your audience and mentors on how you can improve.

On a similar vein, the dating is a sublime art that can also be acquired. The world's greatest dating experts aren't born ; they're made. It doesn't matter whether you're already an expert or you've fallen behind your peers when it comes to dating women. The following two steps will help you to dramatically improve your dating skills.

Step 1 is to equip yourself with the right 'software'. Think of yourself as a powerful Pentium computer but lacking certain software. Starting from today, arm yourself with all the dating tips and strategies that you can learn from various sources. If you think about it, there is a repository of knowledge that you can potentially tap on from your day to day conversations with friends and colleagues. Dating and relationships are always hot conversation topics among teenagers and young adults! There is also a wealth of dating tips that you can learn from relationship books, as well as articles in newspapers, magazines and the internet. Indeed, the potential is only limited by your imagination.

Step 2 is to use your newly acquired software. Simply put, it means applying what you have learnt. There is no point having all the knowledge in the world if you cannot apply them in real life to benefit you. Remember, the reason for learning all these dating strategies in the first place is to help you find your dream partner! Always keep a lookout for a potential life partner. It may be a colleague, a new friend you've just met at a gathering, your old friend of more than ten years, or even your neighbour. Sometimes, you may also be invited to blind dates by enthusiastic friends and family members who are looking to help you get hitched. Fantastic! That will set the stage for you to apply your new found skills and impress your date.

Yes, dating skills can be taught! By following these two steps, I'm confident you'll soon be on your way to finding the partner of your dreams and having a wonderful relationship. Good luck!


~Eugene Tan Sern Ting
The writer is the author of a refreshing new book on dating and relationships, titled "Love Clinic - How To Lose Your Bachelor's Degree". It'll be on sale at all major bookstores in Singapore from late July 2005. For more information, log on to www.love-clinic.com