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Advice Column

Winning the Age Old Game of Love
This article is featured in Romancing Singapore Website

So… the eyes met, conversation was good, the mood was set and the feeling has been mutual. You exchanged contact numbers and then? What’s next? If you don’t have a game plan, it may be doomed before it ever gets started.

Fortunately or unfortunately, you are not the only one.

We set the scene for you, step by step to win this age old game of love!

Planning for the First Date

Arrange the date few days in advance, avoid last minute request as this increases the possibility of your date turning you down. Rejection does affect your confidence to ask him or her out again. Besides you do not want to be seen as THAT desperate.

Choose a day that you are least stressed up, so if Monday is loonly – leave the “Mondays” OUT. Have enough rest for the day – or risk looking haggard in front of your date. Go on the date feeling your best and being your best.

Give 100% of your attention to your date. Show genuine interest, listen and get to know about each other. Relationship is about communication, dating is not about “what you know” and “what you can do” or “how much you have” bRAg-a-tHOn. Give your date the due attention. Leave your blackberry alone for a while and a little human attention might just go a long way.

Last but not least, plan with your date’s comfort in mind, appropriate setting and date movies to watch. If you think that she/he might not enjoy the setting – most likely the chances are that you are right. A little asking will do a world of charm.

Maximize Your Appearance

How many of you heard the saying “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder?” – well that is a excuse to be lazy. You know that the first impression counts, I know that it matters so here at Wow-Her.Com we state our belief that L-O-O-K-S DOES MATTER. We speak the truth.

Suppose you saw an unkempt date that turns up wearing shoddy outfit looking like a refugee from some lost world at a posh restaurant dinner. Chances are that you will discreetly leave him to find his direction home – alone.

Face it, if you do not respect your date – then don’t be hurt by their action to leave you to your due desserts.

Give credit to your looks and dress up! In doing so it does shows respect to your date and to the occasion. Dress right and appropriately on the date, if you are going for a theme “PJ” party with your date then by ALL MEANS. Dress in your boxes – Point is; dress right. Enough said. Please get the drift as there is so much we can repeat.

On the other hand, to some of our readers, don’t wear your black power suit on the first date… very overpowering if the date is set in a causal setting like a hawker center. What if the Kopi-auntie laughs at your dressing efforts? It would be a very sad case right. Not to mentioned that your date would be present.

The last thing you want to remind your date is work; who wants to know how much paper work you need to fill up and how important you are? If you are sincere and genuinely likes your date, you want her/him to get to know you better as a person and not what you do, but who you are. (*Remember that)

So take off that coat and reveal some friendly colours or styles. This will set your date in for the romantic mode.

Colours play an important factor in expressing yourself. Some people look bright and cheerful in lime green, while others might look like a glowing string bean. Wear colours that bring out the best of your skin tone, to appear friendlier and warm.

Select clothing styles that are right for you base on your body type. Camouflage the flaws and play up your best body features. Get an image consultant to help you find your best colours, fits and styles. (*for the clueless – this helps, trust us)

Mindset

It is only natural to be nervous, and to prevent yourself from yakking in fear, calm yourself down, remove the nervous vibes by having a happy song playing at the back of your mind. *Remember -- It is better to speak clearer and slower than mumble.

Adopt a “Seriously, don’t be too serious” attitude. Keep the date light and fun, happy vibes are infectious, keep laughter and smiles always and remember to keep the admiration and respect in place. After all you want your date to remember you for the good times you had together! *Note to Type-A personalities; NO ONE propose or wants to marry a date on a first date; try your best to keep it to the 10th date.

Dating is about knowing more about the other party, what they like and how they feel about things. It is also discovering your own preference. The more you date, the clearer you have in mind who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

For the end result of finding love, all the effort put forth is well worth it! Happy dating!

~Lydia
Lydia is the principal director of Wow-Her.Com, an online value creation magazine, that provides intellectual dating tips, relationship advice, and lifestyle service for singles in Singapore. She is a certified Counsellor, Image Consultant and Behaviour Profiling Analyst. Lydia believes each and every individual is unique and it takes someone with an eye for detail to bring that out. With the aid of personalized styling, grooming and coaching, we can bring out our inner beauty to WOW everyone.

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